Muscles taught with determination, I felt a drop of sweat caress my arm as I sensed his gaze in my peripheral vision. Fighting to maintain balance, we had struggled with the same existential tensions pulling us between defined identities others found so intuitive. Instead of nesting somewhere safe, we’d each chosen to walk the tightrope of self-inquiry, because we knew to take the hard path, to learn balance, to live the questions, was to arrive at ourselves. In a moment of fear, I brought my hand up as if to reach for him, but then again no–he had to walk his own path. Be engaged. Focus. Questions of desire, independence, creative expression, career…they loomed large over my outwardly simple life, snarling at me in the night and trying to break the stuff of my identity apart. Yet I was slowly learning to look with discernment and decide my footing. I knew I wanted to walk beside him for now, even if all I received was a sideways glance.
Garments: Leaf & Crown
(real leather bra top with top stitching, seersucker origami skirt with industrial zipper accents)
Photography: E Lila Stroh
Styling: Dina Arrieta
Mood: Bitey? Maybe simply in need of a snack.
January 31, 2016